Have you ever had one of those days where you’ve lost all motivation?
Yeah I had one of those days yesterday and it seems to be looming over into today. I have a lot I need to do, but the motivation to do it has disappeared. I’m hoping with in the next hour I get it back.
Since moving back home my biggest project I have yet to accomplish is cleaning my room. That sounds mundane, but right now my childhood bedroom is borderline hoarders status. I have things in this room from high school all the way through College. Since I didn’t really live at home while I was going to college my childhood bedroom became a dumping ground and storage unit.
Now you all should know this is uncharacteristic about me. I’m normally really neat and organized. In fact I think my room being in this current state might be what is making me break out in hives. (I’m half kidding…I have a lot stressing me out in life that’s causing them.)
I’m currently in this weird state though. My room contains past chapters of my life. So many memories. Some I’ve forgotten. Lots I really don’t want to relive and some that I’m sure will bring a smile to my face. I know I’m not alone in the process. I have other friends who are actually in the same situation as me or have been. I think for me the hard thing about it is timing. I didn’t want to do it in May because I was still decompressing from graduating. I couldn’t do it in June because I physically wasn’t here. Here we are on July 11th contemplating why I haven’t started.
Really what it comes down to is I don’t know where to start. I look into this room and I feel lost. I don’t like to waste things. Especially perfectly good things, but often times my cleaning style is to throw a way things. So I’m in this dilemma. I have things I’ve out grown or no longer need, but I don’t want to throw them a way if someone else can give it another life. Which is where lots of boxes for a yard sale and donations is well overdue. Seriously, I have clothes I haven’t touched in over 5 years in my closet. Along with shoes. I’m known for collecting books. I love to read and I have so many books that no longer fit on a bookshelf I began stacking them under my window. Not to mention all the school stuff I no longer need. . .Then you add in everything I had from living in my apartment. As you can see it’s all a little overwhelming.
I haven’t really gotten the chance to think of a plan of attack in order to tackle this project. I think the other thing holding me back is I don’t like to hold on to things. So sorting through my stuff I’m going to have to really think about if I want to keep something or if I get rid of it will I be mad about it for letting it go. I know this sounds like hoarder-ish tendencies, but it’s not I promise. I prefer to have less. I guess the easiest way to go about this is to think about what I want to keep with me out in apartment and what I’d feel okay with packing into some boxes to go into an attic or storage unit.
I can do this. I know I can. I just need to start somewhere. Maybe once I can get my room in line I’ll feel a sense of order and like I have my shit together. Like I’m taking a step in a direction. Unlike right now where I feel directionless and completely lost.
I like clean. I like open spaces. Right now you can barely move through my room there’s so many containers. (I’d take a picture but it’s slightly embarrassing for me.) At least my stuff in the containers I know are some what organized in a way that makes sense. Like I said all my stuff from when I moved out of my apartment is in my room. I never unpacked. I’ve just gone to the plastic container and found what I was looking for.
Maybe this is part of the problem. . . I still haven’t unpacked my stuff from moving out of my apartment. I think part of me is afraid if I unpack then I won’t leave North Carolina and I don’t want to be stuck in North Carolina. I’ve got to get over that though. As of right now this is where I am.
I’ve been holding back getting another job around here due to my parents wedding in a few weeks. No wants to hire someone who is going to leave for a week. So my plan for after the wedding is to get another job to have some form of a cash flow.
Charlotte also always has a concert or national tour rolling in and out. I plan on contacting the local IATSE crew to get on an overhire list. I don’t want to join the union I just want to make some extra cash. Plus I’m really good at someone telling me to something. All these gigs are unloading or loading a truck, or hanging ligths and such. All skills I have and honestly probably more qualified than half the people who normally are on the overhire list. No offense to any one. I just know of people who have also worked these types of gigs just to see the show for free after and they had no idea what they were doing.
I’ve gain some motavation now from writing this or maybe it was the coffee I drank earlier finally kicking in! Just as I was able to declutter my mind it’s time to declutter my life as well.
Drop a comment below if you’ve ever felt unmotivated and what you do to change it. Or if you too are struggling with sorting through your own clutter.