I haven’t participated in the daily prompt in a long time, but today’s word bury resonated with me. THe first thing that jumps into my mind dwhen I see this word is it makes me think about burying my feelings. . .
The human mind is amazing when you really think about. It has the capacity to do so much. In fact it does things for us with out us ever consciously thinking about it. Such as breathing or making our heart beat. We don’t think oh hey I need to breathe or yo heart, beat I need more oxygenated blood. . . Thank goodness we don’t control these functions because I’d probably be dead. I forget to breathe as it is. . .
I mentioned something like this before. When my emotions get to be too much or I don’t feel like I’m in a space where I can be emotional I bury them deep inside my brain. It may not be the healthiest way to cope with my emotions, but I almost always unbury them when I’m in a space alone or with someone I can trust. It’s just what I’ve always done.
I’m also really good and big fan of burying the past. There’s a lot that has happened to me over the years. People and friends I thought I knew, but ended up becoming or doing something I never thought they would be capable of. I’ve learned that life is a lot better when you acknowledge these feelings then move on. Harboring whatever feelings doesn’t help the situation or make you feel better. I’m not a big fan of forgive and forget. I think you should forgive in order for you to heal, but you should never forget. I believe that by forgetting you’re bound to make the same mistake.
The way I tend to bury the hatchet with people is I write about them in my journal. It’s been my safe place the past 11 years. I actually just finished a journal last night. Which is always a conflicting feeling for me, because I’m excited a notebook is full, but then I have to go and select another new journal. Which is a process. There’s certain criteria for a notebook to be selected as my new journal. . .Now I’ve gone on a tangent. But having a safe place to write everything my brain is thinking without the chance of hurting someones feeling is actually really thearputic for me.
Actually a guy who I casually dated in Novemeber (We’re actually really good friends now.) I had written how he was a good kisser, but a cocky asshole. I thought this was hilarious. Mostly because it’s true and he knows it. So I snapped a picture and sent it to him, because I knew he’d also get a kick out of it! (The journal isn’t just my petty thoughts on people by the way. It’s also where I hash out life things!)
Back to what I was saying. The human mind is capable of so many things. I don’t associate the word bury with just burying my negative emotions. It also makes me think about the way friendship are made for me. I make friends very easily, however, it takes some time for me to really get to know certain people. Different friends are on different levels of friendship. Some I only hang out and do things with (I guess the basic level), others we talk about deep things and sometimes do things (the moderate level), and then my closest friends are the people who know everything and we always have a good time together. These are the people that I can sit in a room and be comfortable with the silence between us. (The advanced level)
Recently I just started hanging out with a friend that I’ve known for about 3 years now. We met working for the same event company when I was the intern. Our friendship has always been that we work well together, laugh and joke around with each other, and when I’d go away to school we’d stay in contact. These simple conversations were the start of our friendship. Little seeds that were buried and used continued to grow. Through these conversations we learned that we actually have a lot in common. It use to be I’d only hang out with him at work or at one of his band’s shows to show super. Now we go see movies and get drinks together. He use to be this dude who kind of annoyed me at work, but now he’s turned into a close friend and kind of like an older brother figure to me. It’s been great seeing this develop over the last few years. There’s been lots of changes in who I call a friend. So it’s nice to have some consentincy.
I could go on and on, but I think we get the gist.